The best day of course because we got to meet our baby boy for the first time, the new love of my life. The worst day because as soon as he was born he was snatched away from us.
I’ve thought long and hard about whether to write about my experience, it is not the most uplifting topic! But I went through so many mixed emotions, faced so many challenges, that it has took a while for me to fully deal with what happened, even now that our boy is home with us.
At the time, I didn’t know anyone who had gone through the same thing so I had no-one to talk to. So, I’m hoping that by writing about this and sharing my experience, my words might help someone in a similar situation.
I was lucky to have no medical problems during pregnancy, I actually had a pretty straight forward pregnancy, no morning sickness, no cramps and no cravings which is why what happened came as even more of a shock. Even labour was fairly ‘text book’, but when my waters started leaking, it was obvious that something wasn’t right. For waters to spontaneously start leaking before 37 weeks, isn’t a common occurrence, it’s something that only happens to every 2 in 100 people.
Why me? Is it my fault?
I was riddled with guilt and felt that I was to blame as I was the one carrying him. Kory spent his first 11 days in the Special Care Baby Unit until he was feeding by himself and was able to maintain his body temperature. It took me a lot longer than 11 days to recover from what happened. Even now I think to myself, I don’t think I could ever go through that again.
But I don’t want to dwell on the negatives, It may have been a tough journey but I’m just thankful that my boy is happy, healthy and now at home with us.