Every single night!


Every single night after i’ve put Kory to bed, I watch him as he sleeps and I forget how much of a pain in the ass he’s been that day, I forget that just minutes before he finally gave in and fell asleep, he’d been fighting his sleep for over an hour.

Every single night I look down at how innocent he looks when he’s sleeping and I am filled with guilt.

Good old mum guilt.

I punish myself for the mistakes I made that day. For losing my patience with him when he just didn’t listen, for getting angry when I needed to tidy the house and he wouldn’t let me, I punish myself when I think I didn’t spend enough time with him, organising activities and learning him new things, for us spending too much time in front of the tv and not enough time playing, for sticking a mini pizza in the oven for tea instead of making him something healthy and homemade.

I punish myself every. single. night.

The thing is, they don’t give you lessons on how to be a good parent, all I can do is try my best at this parenting thing, every day I’m winging it and hoping that my best will be good enough. I don’t mean to snap and lose my patience, I’m just tired. I’m trying to hold it all together but some days I feel like I could scream! I’m a mum who loves her son so much that it hurts to admit that sometimes it’s hard.

I’m just a mum who goes to bed every single night promising that I will do a better job tomorrow.

Let the birthday preparations begin!


So I’ve just come to the scary realisation that Kory’s 1st birthday is only 4 weeks away…

Firstly,

How is that even possible?! Where has this past year gone?! I’m not ready for my baby to turn 1 just yet!

And secondly,

Let the birthday preparations begin!

We’ve decided we’re just going to have a little get together at our house with close family and friends for Kory’s 1st birthday. I’m counting on the weather being nice so that we can hopefully have a bath a BBQ and have the bouncy castle out!

We agreed that we don’t really feel like we have to throw a great big party with lots of people and presents for Kory’s birthday. AS special as his 1st birthday is, I just don’t feel like it’s necessary as he isn’t old enough to understand that it’s his birthday yet. (No disrespect to anyone that does go all out for their child’s 1st birthday. Go you!)

Kory’s birthday lands on a Tuesday this year so the get together will take place on the Saturday before his birthday and on the Tuesday on his actual birthday, me and his dad are going to take him to build-a-bear.

So that’s the idea in place but here’s what I’ve still got to do:

  • Plan the birthday ✔️
  • Pick Kory’s birthday outfit ✔️
  • Buy birthday presents ✔️
  • Wrap presents
  • Write invitations list
  • Send invites
  • Buy food and drink
  • Prepare food (salad, pasta, pasties, sausage rolls, sandwiches)
  • Purchase disposable plates, cutlery and napkins
  • Buy decorations
  • Place decorations in garden and around house
  • Put up the bouncy castle
  • Choose a birthday cake

I think that’s everything anyway but I can’t be sure… I still can’t get over the fact that I am actually planning my baby’s 1st birthday!

Everyone always says ‘you will lose your friends when you have a baby’

Or ‘you will find out who your true friends are when you’ve had a baby’ and whilst that may be true, I’ve been lucky enough to still have a few close friends stick around.

I certainly realised who my true friends were. I did lose friends after having a baby, some friends did leave. Some were around throughout the pregnancy but never visited us after Kory was born, some friends visited once but then the novelty must have just worn off and other friends stayed and I’m thankful for those few.

I’m thankful that I did learn who my true friends are after having a baby.

The friends that have stuck around are the same friends that have always been there for me.

Us.

The same friends I know I could always turn to, the friends that have been there for every birthday, when we moved out, when we got engaged, when we found out we were pregnant, when we found out we were having a baby boy, when we had the baby and they’re still by our side today.

And now they’re right beside Kory every step of the way too.

They love him just as much as I do and I couldn’t of wished for a better group of friends or godparents to be a part of Kory’s life.

Is it bedtime yet?!

All Kory has done since waking up this morning is winge and cry.

I don’t know what’s wrong with him.

I’m not worried and I’m not concerned, it’s just so out of character! Kory doesn’t cry all that much really. I’m thinking maybe it’s due to teething or the heat (it’s been quite humid here for the past few days.) I thought that would explain his irritability and the crying.

Well, you’d think so anyway…

But all day I have tried everything I could possibly think of to try and fix what was bothering him but nothing  seemed to work!

I thought he might of been a bit too warm with it being a bit humid here today so I gave him a cool bath.

That didn’t work.

I tried to get him to take a nap but apparently he wasn’t tired.

So that didn’t work.

I thought he might of been hungry so I made him a snack, he threw it on the floor and gave it to the dog.

That didn’t work.

I thought maybe it’s his teeth, so gave him some calpol and guess what…

That didn’t work either!

He would cry if I picked him up, cry if I put him down, he would cry if I left the room…

I almost feel guilty saying this but

IS IT BEDTIME YET?!

The best things about being a mum


Ok, so there’s the lack of sleep, the messy house, the tantrums and the days you feel like you could pull your own hair out! But there’s also the middle-of-the-night-cuddles, the memories you will make, the laughter and the days you feel like your heart could burst with love.

Ask any mum and they will tell you that being a mum is the most difficult and challenging yet most rewarding job in the world.

Here’s what I think are the best things about being a mum:

  • Watching them grow. Seeing your child become their own little person with their own personality.
  • Watching them learn. After teaching them to say dada or mama and hearing them say it for the first time and seeing the smile on their face.
  • Learning important lessons yourself. I love how my son is bringing out the best version of myself, he is teaching me that as a mum, I can learn and grow too, I need to be more patient, kinder and more understanding.
  • Pure happiness.
  • Unconditional love. The best part about being a mum for me is the love I feel for my child. I never knew I could love someone this much. 
  • Finding purpose in life. Since becoming a mum, I feel like I have found my purpose in life. My calling. All I want is to be a mum.

What do you think the best things about being a mum are?

The Baytree Hotel, Llandudno

As mentioned in my previous post, my mum so very kindly had booked an overnight stay at The Baytree Hotel in Llandudno for myself, Rory and Kory for my birthday.

We stayed here on Saturday the 1st of July for 1 night with breakfast included.

The hotel is situated on the Grand Promenade, right across from the pier and just a minutes walk from the central shopping area.


(View from our hotel room, 212)

We stayed in a double room with a sea front view. The room itself was a good size, it had an en suite bathroom, tv, hair dryer, tea and coffee making facilities, the room had recently been redecorated (nicely, may I add) and was very clean, tidy and comfortable.


On arrival we made our way to the reception desk to check in, where we were greeted by a very friendly lady. She advised us that we were too early to check in but could keep our luggage in the holding room, she also showed us the best location to park our car. The hotel car park is situated behind the hotel.

All other staff we spoke to during our stay were also helpful and very accommodating.

Included in our stay was the breakfast. The buffet-style breakfast is served between 8:00am – 10:00am and was very good, the food was of great quality with plenty of choice.


We had a very pleasant stay at The Baytree Hotel and we would definitely stay here again. I would recommend this hotel to anyone perhaps looking for somewhere to stay in Llandudno.

Overall, great location, friendly staff, good quality food, clean and tidy rooms and reasonably priced.


Thanks for taking the time to read about our stay at The Baytree Hotel.

http://www.baytreehotel.co.uk/

Belated happy birthday to me


It was my 23rd birthday over the weekend.

It was also my first birthday as a mum and I have been well and truly spoilt by my mum, partner, family and friends.

I am so lucky!

I honestly thought I would just be spending my birthday at home but unknowns to me, my mum had booked an overnight stay for me, Rory and Kory at a hotel in Llandudno! I was so surprised, so so grateful and so so so excited!

I was sitting at home in pyjamas, opening my cards and presents when I came across this in the birthday card from my mum and younger sister…


Shortly after I was dressed, out the door and on my way to Llandudno!

Crazy!!

Here’s some of the other kind gifts that I received:

I would just like to thank everyone for the cards, gifts, money and birthday wishes. It means a lot! And I would especially like to thank my mum and Rory, my partner, those two always go above and beyond for me.

Thanks for making my first birthday as a mum the best birthday yet.

Conwy Medieval Tournament


Yesterday we had so much fun in Conwy, Wales at the Medieval Tournament!

The historic town of Conwy was transported back to Medieval times over the weekend as it was filled with all things archery, jousting, knights, wizards, nobles, sword tournaments, musicians, jesters and so much more!

There was also a medieval market were all the merchants were dressed in medieval attire and sold all sorts of interesting medieval themed items such as homemade cakes and other treats, clothing, jewellery, handmade soaps and re-enactment goods!

The tournament took place over the 24th and the 25th of June.

Although we visit Conwy quite often, this was actually our first time attending this particular event. We had so much fun and I’m sure it won’t be our last!

You can read more about the event here: http://www.thetournament.co.uk/

Here some more pictures from our day:


Thanks for reading!

We’re going on holiday!

We’ve booked our first family holiday!

We’re off to Greece, Crete on the 8th of September and I am so excited to take Kory on holiday with us! I can’t wait to take him swimming in the pool, for walks on the beach, to see all the local attractions and to just make memories as a family.

But I’m also nervous…

I’ve been on holiday before but I have never travelled with an infant who I am solely responsible for. I’m nervous as I don’t quite know what to expect! I know we’ll have a lovely time once we’re there but I can’t help but feel nervous about the flight, I worry how Kory will be on the plane, I’m scared of him getting sunburnt, him being unwell whilst we’re away from home, I worry he may not like any of the food and just worrying in general!

Did I mention that I was worried?

Worried but excited!

What i would do differently


When you have your first child, everything is so new and you don’t know what to expect. Every experience is your first. Your first positive pregnancy test, first scan, first pregnancy announcement, first time giving birth, first everything.

It’s amazing and although you wouldn’t change anything about having your child, there may be some things you would do differently next time.

Here’s what I would do differently:

– I would go out more. I’ve always been a bit of a home body and always preferred staying in over going out. After having Kory, I just felt overwhelmed and didn’t want to leave the house but I think when you have a child, you have to make yourself go out, it wasn’t healthy for me and Kory to both stay couped up all the time and there’s nothing I enjoy more now than taking him out to different places and on days out, I only wish I had done it sooner.

– Say NO to visitors. Kory was premature and as a result of this, spent the first 2 weeks of his life in the hospital. When the time came to bring him home, I just wanted to be able to enjoy him with my partner as Rory was due to go back to work the next day. I thought people would understand this but obviously not. It was nice that people wanted to come and visit Kory but I would have liked to have been able to enjoy him myself first as I hadn’t really been able to in the hospital. The nurses did the night feeds as I had been discharged from the hospital, the nurses knew how to wind him and how to comfort him, I felt like they knew my child better than I did and this was my chance to get to know him. The whole experience was horrible and I feel like it was ruined for us, I just wanted to cry the entire time whenever someone came round and scream ‘give me back my child!’

– Speak up and trust my instinct! When it’s your first child, people think it’s acceptable to throw all sorts of advice at you (helpful and unhelpful), criticise what you’re doing and try to overtake. With it being my first baby and me doubting myself, I let people tell me what to do, or listened to people tell me about my own child, even if I didn’t agree with what they were saying. The next time I disagree with a nurses opinion, I will be sure to speak up, the next time someone offers me advice, I will take what’s helpful to me and ignore the rest, the next time someone tries to overtake, they will be put back in their place, help will be accepted when and if it’s wanted.

– Pick a better pram. I rushed into making the decision of which pram to get, I chose my pram simply because I liked the look of it. Kory was only in it for 6 months, he’d outgrown it and preferred to be sat up in a buggy. Next time I’ll be sure to look in more detail and compare.

Is there anything you wish you had done differently or would do differently next time round?